God, Why Would You Do This?
That was the question I asked God when he told me that I was moving to Oklahoma.
I remember thinking..."With all the power you have, you send me to OKLAHOMA? Not California or Hawaii? But, Oklahoma."
And he said, yes.
So, here I am, still alive, but I'm barely breathing (OKC allergies are the WORST) and I have officially lived here for 1 year and 7 months. Almost 2 exciting years of experience, enlightenment and change. I've learned more about myself in these past two years, than I learned in the past 10. Who would have thought that this little state, right above the greatest state in the world (Texas) would be my second home?
I've learned to love deeper, grow stronger (mentally and emotionally) and live a better life.
I will be honest with you. It hasn't been easy. My first year in Oklahoma was full of anxiety, depression, frustration and bitterness. I was miserable. I cried everyday while I was here and I begged and pleaded with God to let me move back to Texas and everytime he would reply with... "trust me".
I realize now that He knew what was best for me and He still does. At the time, that whole "trust me" thing was a load of crap. Really. I thought He was giving me another one of His tests by trying to make me suffer, but I was wrong. 2 years later and I can truly say that I've never been happier. Whether it'd be my newfound friendships or my walk with God, but I'm happy.
I don't know what it is about this faith thing, but gosh I love it. So here I am today to tell you one little thing: trust Him.
I know, I know, everyone says that, but, really...trust HIM. I know what it's like to not be where you want to be. To feel as if you're behind the curve. To feel out of place or as if you haven't found your "thing" in life yet. To wonder whether or not the path you chose for yourself is the right one; I get it. Really, I do.
Yet, all I can tell you is trust Him and trust this life we live.
Trust that He will never forsake you or leave you high and dry.
He will make all the desires of your heart come true and He will align a path of victory for you.
Just, trust Him.
And if there's one thing I can remind you of, it's this: HE IS CONSISTENT.
When everyone else walked away, He was still there. When he/she left you wondering what happened, He was there. When you felt like giving up on yourself, HE WAS THERE. And when you mess up again, because you're human and you will... He will STILL be there.
So, whether or not you choose to trust Him or to live in anxiety, (one of which brings complete and utter irratation) - He will always be consistent.
Believe me. I know.