I'm Not Engaged Yet and I'm Not Mad About It
Is it me or is everyone getting engaged?!
I’m not upset about it, but every time I scroll through my Facebook timeline… there’s another life event. Someone is either engaged, married or pregnant. It is astonishing how fast time flies and how society tells me that I need to catch up.
Being in your 20s-30s is such a transitional stage. High school is over, so is college (or almost done), you possibly have a career and up till now you’re wondering why you STILL haven’t met anyone. Or why all the ones you meet waste your time? Or why all the decent ones are taken?
In addition, every single week on Facebook or Instagram someone new is engaged.
While being single is not a loss, let’s be real: to love and be loved in return is beautiful. Why wouldn’t I want that? I would think that many of us want that kind of relationship. I don’t know when I realized that this whole engagement/wedding/pregnancy epidemic was irritating me, but I knew that I needed to change my attitude towards it. As an alternative of griping about who is marrying whom, I took the chance to say, how can I stop carrying about it?
So, here’s what I did:
1. Stopped Checking Facebook
Let’s be honest. How many of you only check Facebook to be nosy? I’m guilty of this. Society manipulates us to observe how other people are doing, so we can compare ourselves to them. You can check Facebook occasionally, just try not to keep scrolling for an hour! You need to learn that comparing your current life, to others is not healthy, nor will it help you become a better individual. If you allow it, comparison will steal your confidence and a lack of confidence will steal your joy. Learn to embrace this season while knowing that yes, Facebook will remind you that “________________” is engaged, but your worth does not decrease.
Simply… don’t scroll down your timeline.
2. High Self-Worth
I attribute this one to my wonderful Mother. She taught me time after time that your self-worth can change your entire outlook on life. Self-worth is defined as “the sense of one’s own value or worth”. An aspect quite simple, yet several of us fail to increase it. When you possess high self-worth, your mentality towards relationships change. Whether he/she fails to text back, your regard for yourself does not diminish. No matter your past or the mistakes you’ve made, you are still worthy of marriage, when the time is right. Maybe it’s this month, or the next, but your time will come.
3. Focus on everything else
The easiest way to avoid frustration about being single is to shift your focus. Now, I focus on my goals, health, education, any anything else that deems important to me. I realize easier said than done, but try it. Generate goals for yourself, so that when someone does come along, they cannot distract you from the vision you created for yourself. Also, think about this: If you spend all your time now focusing on you and your relationship with Christ, when your special person comes along, you can then focus on THEM and your relationships WITH Christ. Perfect, right?
4. Stopped complaining, started doing
If you truly hate being single, then you need to spend this single season understand why you despise it. Nevertheless, if you’re open to dating and know that your worth is not based off a relationship status, then, put yourself out there. Surround yourself with other singles! Join a co-ed Bible study. Join a dating app (please proceed with caution). Find a singles group affiliated with a church. Place yourself in a position to be found. Although, you are in the position to be found, does not mean that God wants you to be. He may want to protect, heal or shape you some more, before letting you meet someone. Everything is His timing. Either way, I don’t foresee much harm in joining a Bible study- you may like what you see, while you bask in His presence 😉
That sums up this post for today! I had a lot of fun writing this, even though I shared some of my emotions! I’m learning to be more transparent with you all, so be patient with me, as this is new territory.
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